#DearMe

Dear Younger Me, Somethings I want to tell me younger self is that I want to stop showing off to the world the talents I believe I got but I really didn't. I always think like to brag myself to others like how I would do good in this or that subject but in the end it wasn't even a good result. Some days, I wish I had not pushed all those friends I made in elementary, and middle school friends away because I left them behind and went to somewhere I had to restart my life at. Those friends I have pushed away, were people who I made happy. They were pushed away because I changed as a person over time. I went from being loud and active to some introvert who just sits there and listen to what you got to say and enjoy the ride without even saying a word. Back then, I used to be well known for many things, because I was a talented person and really wanted to show off to all these individual but in the end I lost most of these friends who used to be there for me.Some days I wish I did things I never did, like not giving anyone a chance at love or even bother to try. When I look at love now, it feel like it is harder to find someone then it was as a younger person. Or even giving a chance instead of hiding away in the shadows hoping you will still be there when I come back to you later on. Guess what? I tried. Having these thoughts about my old lovers really tell me that I messed up, why? Because I said things I have promised I would do but in the end it just goes by. I wish I had someone to always be there for me to tell them how I feel but I couldn't. Everything had to be bottled-up hoping someone on the other side of the ocean will find this bottle floating in the ocean the pick it up and read all these feelings I used to have. I wish I was more involved in the community with sports and being able to make more friends. As of now, I stick to the friends I have grown with since then and still but of course they do not all stay as they could leave for a better life today. I still wish I was able to tell anyone anything but I trusted no one because no one was around. I also wished I never lied to everyone about the truth, these lies have haunt me even until this day because I am just scared it would hurt them the most and when I am trying to get there backs. I wish if there were people that wanted to know the dark truth, they had to come and ask me what really happened instead of having to keep it deep down where it really hurts the most