The Unheard Story

what's life on a day like every day to you? Questions I ask myself is that I have been asked every day but was never able to be answered. Do I have friends? Do they really have my back? All I know that is that they don't because they never come by and ask how am I nor how am I doing. I am just there everyday for my friends to listen to their everyday story instead of them coming to me for a hand. I have been keeping all my friends bullshit where it belong and hurts me the most even though it doesn't effect me. I only know I have at least 1-2 friends at most who are always there for me and are willing to listen to my story as the rest of the few 100 people I know that are just there for me for just the reason of having a common interest. Do you really truly care how I feel? Are you there to listen or are you there to tell me that you are just there to care? I am of course trying to get stronger and be the tougher person I really want to be, but I can't because there is stuff that are pushing me down and making me not want to become a better human I am today? Have you ever wanted to know my real story, the truth behind my smile? Or are you there to tell me your piece of bullshit? I don't think anyone knows what I am going through except for those who I have spoken to. All this time for everyone to think I have a good life I don't. I have lied my whole life, telling everyone bullshit about my life and about how my love life is when everyone believes through all these lies I have been telling them for a good whole decade. I clearly can say I have friends but not TRUE FRIEND. All I remember from day to day is that I am listening to everyone and being a good listener I am and trying to help all my friends get through life. My only 11:11 wish is that I really want to become a stronger individual and being able to run my own life without other having to step all over me and telling me what to do or just judge me whenever it is a great time. I get myself hurt and broken into pieces and not being able to speak the truth. I will keep praying every day until I have my own life to worry about and not yours. "Don't let greed be your friend because in the end you are going to lose a friend or so."Greed is so destructive. It destroys everything.